Twenty years ago, I developed a powerful approach to negotiating that goes beyond “win-win.” It involves starting by offering the most and asking for the least. It works extremely well, but I was unable to explain why until I read Wharton professor Adam Grant’s excellent new book Give and Take. Adam identifies three types of people: Takers try to get as much as possible from others, matchers seek an even trade, and givers contribute without expectation of return.
—
The secret to a higher salary is to ask for nothing at all – Quartz
- In Give and Take, Grant reports that in the business setting, most people are takers or matchers. But they are givers when it comes to the people they care about. For example, even in the heat of an argument with my spouse, we both know we want more for the other than we want for ourselves.
- What I discovered is that if you care about other people first, even business people cannot help but care back. Of course, it is theoretically possible that someone cannot reciprocate empathy, and in that case my approach will not lead to a deal. But I haven’t found anyone like that yet, and I wouldn’t want to work with them if I did.
