The Indelible Bonobo Experience

Doctors use a solution called TAC that is commonly used to treat bad cuts on the head, face or neck of kids, and it is 11 percent cocaine (roughly equal to a vial of Tony Montana’s sweat). It’s used because it is less painful and invasive than injecting a topical anesthetic and it doesn’t distort or misshape the wound, which can increase the chance of scarring. (via 5 Illegal Drugs With Surprisingly Wholesome Medical Uses | Cracked.com)

• No other drug combines the properties of a vasoconstrictor and an anesthetic.
• Studies show that once the walls are finished melting and you’re done talking to the universe, your chances of staying away from alcohol will be dramatically increased post-trip. An extensive study done in the 1960s and ’70s showed that recovering alcoholics are much less apt to drink excessively, and some even stopped drinking entirely for several months.
• The LSD made the patients feel more confident, happy and satisfied with their lives, decreasing the feelings that led most of them to abuse alcohol in the first place. The effects lasted for about six months, at which point, if LSD were legal, the patients would be able to return to a treatment clinic for another dose, repeating the process until they were able to transition into (relative) sobriety.
• Heroin, as you may know, is an opiate, a class of drugs commonly used as painkillers (heroin itself is actually much more effective than morphine, working its magic in about two or three minutes). The National Health Service (NHS) in Britain recommends giving it to people in extreme pain, people in surgery and women in labor.
• You see, Ecstasy has been shown to help treat people with post-traumatic stress disorder. The reason for this is actually the same reason that the drug is popular recreationally: It releases large amounts of the chemicals serotonin and oxytocin in your brain, making you relaxed and euphoric.  MDMA also allows PTSD patients to relive their experiences more easily while in therapy, which is crucial to overcoming the disorder. Ecstasy lets the sufferers do so without being overwhelmed, by activating the area of the brain responsible for controlling fear and stress. Over time, this results in long-term reduction of fear, allowing the victims to get on with their now dubstep-filled lives.
• Desoxyn, the purest form of meth, is given to obese people for fast short-term weight loss. It’s only prescribed as a short-term treatment for obvious reasons (meth is highly addictive and catastrophic to your well-being). It’s also pretty uncommonly used in this way, as it’s really only prescribed when all other treatments fail (“other treatments” here meaning “vegetables and jogging”).  But even stranger, Desoxyn is prescribed by doctors all over the United States to treat ADHD. Considering that sufferers of ADHD typically exhibit symptoms of jitteriness and inattentiveness, and that meth also causes all of those things, you’d think the first dose would cause the patient’s brain to speed up until he was living in bullet time.  But nothing with the brain is simple, and meth (as well as other stimulants) help regulate brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. At least, that’s what happens when the dosage is carefully controlled by a medical professional who can monitor the results. In general, you should not attempt to self-medicate any medical problem with any substance bought in an alley from a bunch of bikers standing around a burning trash barrel.