-From a Reader of the site.
Honestly, what the sex-positive crowd is doing wrong is… being sex positive. Or more specifically, assuming that sex always can or even SHOULD BE positive.
Which, well, doesn’t look like reality for most of us.
A lot of sex workers have negative feelings about sex, or routinely have negative sexual experiences. We have sexual contact with people who are downright obnoxious. We have sexual contact with people that we’d never fuck if they weren’t paying us. We have sexual contact with people that treat us like objects instead of skilled service providers.
We have sex under conditions of financial duress that can feel pretty fucking distressing.
And you know sometimes, because we’re being sexy all the time, we just fucking get TIRED of sex.
The sex-positive community has this idea that if only we were in touch with our sexuality, if only we were liberated and forthright about our sexuality, comfortable with our bodies, and willing to speak up about consent, and enforce our boundaries, that sex would be great all the time.
But the thing is—sex workers ARE ALL those things, DO ALL those things. We HAVE to, because we can’t do our jobs without knowing our bodies, we can’t do our jobs without insisting on our rates and negotiating sessions with clients, we can’t do our jobs without getting pretty damn comfortable speaking openly and frankly about sex.
But we still have negative experiences, experiences which show that the sex-positive paradigm is both flawed and exclusionary, that it doesn’t take into account the full range of reasons that people have sex, or understand the full range of reasons why sex isn’t always positive.
Does that help?