The Indelible Bonobo Experience

This is a great test, though possibly not for grade 8 and not for reading comprehension.. Here’s how I would’ve answered and why (the most difficult Qs, 7 & 8).

7. The animals ate the pineapple most likely because they were:
A hungry
B excited
C annoyed
D amused

It seems to me that nobody eats a pineapple for hunger or amusement and furthermore there’s nothing in the story to suggest that anyone was hungry or amused. To assume either would require a greater “leap of faith” than to assume either B or C. Being annoyed is a kind of “negative” excitement, so answering B should include C, but unfortunately, that is not how such tests work. Furthermore, the word “annoyed” better approximates the state the animals may have found themselves in - nobody is happy with a Burlesconi that pumps up the audience than fails to deliver. There seems to be a certain disconnect between this “annoyed” state and eating something - for instance, I might be annoyed with politicians, hospitals or the justice system, but I would never think of eating them. Then again, I’m not an animal. If you’re an animal, killing something that annoys you is fair game, and then eating that something makes sense, especially if it is delicious and low in pesticides.

8. Which animal spoke the wisest words?
A The hare
B The moose
C The crow
D The owl

This is even more subjective than the previous question. The pineapple is vain and wrong, hence quite unwise and furthermore not what we usually call “an animal.” The hare, though right, comes across as a bit vain and arrogant, or at the very least quick tempered, which makes it wiser than the pineapple but he’s still no Confucius (even though in the Chinese culture the hare is considered a symbol of wisdom; they even have a story with the hare on the moon). The moose says essentially what the crow says, but the owl gets to correct him. The moose responds with “well, you know what I mean” which seems to be the mark of the stoopid in this story of ambiguities. The crow makes far more sense, but seems rather confident in its assertions which turn out to be false. The fact that the moral of the story re-enforces the owl’s words offers the key as to who is wisest.

see also: nyt, bushmanlives.com, bb, wired, wiki, wsj, wr