The Indelible Bonobo Experience

Renaissance Monkey: in-depth expertise in Jack-of-all-trading. I mostly comment on news of interest to me and occasionally engage in debates or troll passive-aggressively. Ask or Submit 2 mah authoritah! ;) !

As a psychotherapist and parenting educator, I often get into discussions about spanking. There are still a great number of parents who think it is okay to spank their children, despite all the evidence otherwise. Considering all the research saying spanking creates more bad behavior and negatively affects brain development, is there ever an appropriate time for spanking? (via Is It Ever Okay to Spank a Child? - Andrea Nair - The Atlantic)
We ended up having a great conversation about how his single mother who was raising seven children in an urban American city, “whooped him so badly, it kept him off the streets.” He talked about respecting and fearing his mother, which probably kept him alive. He mentioned the times he was hit so hard that he still has disturbing flashbacks all these years later.
I can concede that if spanking is the only way to keep someone away from the jaws of gangs or away from a criminal life, it may be the lesser of the evils. I suppose it is better to be more afraid of your parent, than the gang members knocking at your door; however, this scenario speaks to a small percentage of the population.
There is the comment I often hear in my workshops where spanking gets defended: “I got spanked as a child and I turned out okay.” I guess that depends on your definition of “okay.” Many of my clients have explained how much they hated parents who spanked them. There are undoubtedly a great many adults who were spanked as a child, and may outwardly seem “okay,” but they certainly aren’t as good as they could be.
Unhappiness is one negative side-effect of being raised with spanking. Having been spanked as a child is also a risk factor for mental illness, addictions and evensexual problems.
Spanking might scare children into stopping a behavior, but it does not get them to think rationally or want to cooperate. It also doesn’t teach people how to manage big emotions or develop conflict skills.
The worldwide view of scholars and the United Nations regarding spanking, or corporal punishment as it is usually referred, is pretty clear. There is the “Convention on the Rights of the Child” which was established by the United Nations in 1989. In it, Article 19 requires States to protect children from “all forms of physical or mental violence” while in the care of parents or others. The organization UNICEF has publicly stated their interpretation of this Convention is that corporal punishment should be removed from all homes and educational institutions.
To this date, 29 countries around the world have banned spanking in homes and schools. Canada and the U.S. are not one of those countries. Many states have abolished corporal punishment in schools, but quite a few in the southern U.S. have not yet.

As a psychotherapist and parenting educator, I often get into discussions about spanking. There are still a great number of parents who think it is okay to spank their children, despite all the evidence otherwise. Considering all the research saying spanking creates more bad behavior and negatively affects brain development, is there ever an appropriate time for spanking? (via Is It Ever Okay to Spank a Child? - Andrea Nair - The Atlantic)

  • We ended up having a great conversation about how his single mother who was raising seven children in an urban American city, “whooped him so badly, it kept him off the streets.” He talked about respecting and fearing his mother, which probably kept him alive. He mentioned the times he was hit so hard that he still has disturbing flashbacks all these years later.
  • I can concede that if spanking is the only way to keep someone away from the jaws of gangs or away from a criminal life, it may be the lesser of the evils. I suppose it is better to be more afraid of your parent, than the gang members knocking at your door; however, this scenario speaks to a small percentage of the population.
  • There is the comment I often hear in my workshops where spanking gets defended: “I got spanked as a child and I turned out okay.” I guess that depends on your definition of “okay.” Many of my clients have explained how much they hated parents who spanked them. There are undoubtedly a great many adults who were spanked as a child, and may outwardly seem “okay,” but they certainly aren’t as good as they could be.
  • Unhappiness is one negative side-effect of being raised with spanking. Having been spanked as a child is also a risk factor for mental illness, addictions and evensexual problems.
  • Spanking might scare children into stopping a behavior, but it does not get them to think rationally or want to cooperate. It also doesn’t teach people how to manage big emotions or develop conflict skills.
  • The worldwide view of scholars and the United Nations regarding spanking, or corporal punishment as it is usually referred, is pretty clear. There is the “Convention on the Rights of the Child” which was established by the United Nations in 1989. In it, Article 19 requires States to protect children from “all forms of physical or mental violence” while in the care of parents or others. The organization UNICEF has publicly stated their interpretation of this Convention is that corporal punishment should be removed from all homes and educational institutions.
  • To this date, 29 countries around the world have banned spanking in homes and schools. Canada and the U.S. are not one of those countries. Many states have abolished corporal punishment in schools, but quite a few in the southern U.S. have not yet.
Metal crosses mark graves at the cemetery of the former Arthur Dozier School for Boys in Marianna, Fla. Investigators in Florida using ground-penetrating radar and soil samples say there are nearly 100 unmarked graves on the grounds. (via In Florida, A Clash Over Exhuming Bodies At Reform School : NPR)
Researchers at the University of South Florida are fighting with the state over access to the grounds of a now-closed reform school.
For decades, the Dozier School for Boys was notorious for the harsh treatment boys received there. Now, a forensic anthropologist and her team want permission to exhume dozens of bodies they found in unmarked graves, but are meeting resistance from state officials.
They’re called the White House Boys — a group of men, many now in their 60s and 70s — who were sent to the Dozier school when they were children. They take the name from a small white building on the school grounds where boys were beaten. Jerry Cooper was sent to the school in 1961. He says guards beat the boys using a leather strap.
"These were not spankings. These were beatings, brutal beatings," Cooper says.
Cooper and other White House Boys say they know of children who died from the beatings. A few years ago, the state investigated and said it found no evidence that staff at the school had been responsible for any student deaths.
The White House boys and some family members of those who died there dismissed the report as a whitewash. The state report said 50 boys were believed buried in unmarked graves. But it said it would not be possible to identify and exhume remains from individual gravesites.
That’s when forensic anthropologist Erin Kimmerle got interested in the story.

Metal crosses mark graves at the cemetery of the former Arthur Dozier School for Boys in Marianna, Fla. Investigators in Florida using ground-penetrating radar and soil samples say there are nearly 100 unmarked graves on the grounds. (via In Florida, A Clash Over Exhuming Bodies At Reform School : NPR)

  • Researchers at the University of South Florida are fighting with the state over access to the grounds of a now-closed reform school.
  • For decades, the Dozier School for Boys was notorious for the harsh treatment boys received there. Now, a forensic anthropologist and her team want permission to exhume dozens of bodies they found in unmarked graves, but are meeting resistance from state officials.
  • They’re called the White House Boys — a group of men, many now in their 60s and 70s — who were sent to the Dozier school when they were children. They take the name from a small white building on the school grounds where boys were beaten. Jerry Cooper was sent to the school in 1961. He says guards beat the boys using a leather strap.
  • "These were not spankings. These were beatings, brutal beatings," Cooper says.
  • Cooper and other White House Boys say they know of children who died from the beatings. A few years ago, the state investigated and said it found no evidence that staff at the school had been responsible for any student deaths.
  • The White House boys and some family members of those who died there dismissed the report as a whitewash. The state report said 50 boys were believed buried in unmarked graves. But it said it would not be possible to identify and exhume remains from individual gravesites.
  • That’s when forensic anthropologist Erin Kimmerle got interested in the story.

Easter’n Eastern’rope

fyeaheasterneurope:

Romanians Revel in Rich Easter Traditions

Orthodox believers in Romania are gearing up to celebrate Easter with their usual fervour on April 15, drawing on a rich variety of Easter traditions that Romanians have preserved.

The celebrations started with Holy Week, usually held a week later than Catholic Holy week. Despite the different date, it also begins with Palm Sunday (Florii, in Romanian), when Jesus entered Jerusalem and ends on Easter Sunday, marking Christ’s resurrection.

While most Christians observe these festivals, Romanians do things their own way. On Good Thursday, people take food and drink to church and boiled eggs are painted.

Tradition says that if the eggs turn red this day, they will keep from spoiling all year. The favoured colour for Easter eggs is, therefore red, but other colours like green, yellow or blue, are also used.

In some parts of Romania, mainly in Bukovina, in the north, there is a tradition of colouring eggs, using different geometrical and floral motifs. The process involves various paints and wax. The egg painting ritual still survives, but only a few people still know this art.

The tradition on Good Friday is to place flowers in church for Christ and to pass under a table three times, signifying the pains that Christ endured when he carried his cross to his hill of crucifixion at Golgotha.

On the night between Holy Saturday and Easter [Passion] Sunday, people go to church to celebrate the resurrection by attending midnight mass, where they light candles. They take the lighted candles home to keep the holy spirit alight in their homes, souls and lives.

At home, they eat certain Easter dishes, which include “Pasca”, a traditional Easter cake, a sweet bread called “Cozonac”, which is a slightly sweet yeast-raised egg bread, lamb soup and lamb steak. They also eat haggis, a traditional Easter dish made from the organs of a lamb, and, of course the painted eggs.

The coloured Easter eggs can be eaten now, as they are boiled, but only after the tradition of tapping the eggs between two people. This involves making a saying with religious connotations. The first person says, “Christ has risen” [“Hristos a inviat”], while the second responds, “He is risen indeed” - in Romanian, “Adevarat a inviat”.

On Easter Sunday morning, people usually go to church for the Easter morning mass. This mass is not as well attended as the midnight mass. After that, they go back home and eat the blessed food, which they have taken with them to the church.

There are many other local Easter traditions. In Bukovina, on the night of Easter, there is the custom of fire vigils. Fires are lit on hills and burn all night. In Transylvania, young girls are sprayed with perfume by boys dressed in traditional clothes on Easter Monday. This way, the girls will have good luck all year.

If Romanian cozonak is anything like Bulgarian kozunak (which is also eaten at Easter), it is one of MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER. Nom nom nom so delicious.

I believe they also do the perfume spraying in Hungary.

The best tradition is in Czech R & Slovakia, where men lovingly whip women’s bum with a special whip (cf wikipedia):

In the Czech Republic andSlovakia, a tradition of spanking or whipping is carried out onEaster Monday. In the morning, men spank women with a special handmade whip called a pomlázka (in Czech) or korbáč (in Slovak), or, in eastern Moravia and Slovakia, throw cold water on them. The pomlázka/korbáč consists of eight, twelve or even twenty-four withies (willow rods), is usually from half a meter to two meters long and decorated with coloured ribbons at the end. The spanking is not painful or intended to cause suffering. A legend says that women should be spanked with a whip in order to keep their health and beauty during the whole next year.

An additional purpose can be for men to exhibit their attraction to women; unvisited women can even feel offended. Traditionally, the spanked woman gives a coloured egg and sometimes a small amount of money to the man as a sign of her thanks. In some regions, the women can get revenge in the afternoon or the following day when they can pour a bucket of cold water on any man. The habit slightly varies across Slovakia and the Czech Republic. A similar tradition existed in Poland (where it is called Dyngus Day), but it is now little more than an all-day water fight.

Now you know why Czech and Slovak women are so sexy.. :)